Today’s Readings:
Daniel 3:25,34-43;
Psalm 25:4-9;
Matthew 18:21-35
I STRUGGLE WITH FORGIVENESS. It might be of an acquaintance or a close friend. The reasoning is usually the same; this person should know that what they are doing or what they have done is wrong. I often presume that no one does anything without first thinking about it. You think before you speak. You think before you act. But is it always that simple? I am guilty of sometimes acting before thinking and speaking before I have had the occasion to think things through. On those occasions, I blush and ask for forgiveness. And I expect to be forgiven, right?
IF I AM BEING HONEST, I expect more from people than I expect from myself. I expect people to know my likes and dislikes. But I do not take the time to study them and let them know my expectations of them. If you have not told someone that something is offensive to you, do not presume that they will arrive at such knowledge intuitively. Some people can put two and two together, but they are in the minority. But there still remains another problem.
WHEN SOMEONE OFFENDS ME, what is my first reaction? Do I presume that they have acted with malicious intent? People often say that, “It is those closest to you who know how to hurt you”. It is probably because they know you to some extent. But even they are not immune to ignorance. Your spouse of many years may have a fair knowledge of you but they certainly do not know every single thing that can upset or provoke you to anger. Some days even you do not know why you are moody or upset.
SO HERE, I propose some things to bear in mind before you conclude that that person in your life is wicked and undeserving of your forgiveness:
GIVE THE OTHER PERSON THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT – It is always better to presume that the other person did not know that they will hurt you by their words or actions.
IN CASE OF DOUBT, ASK – The person who has offended you deserves an opportunity to defend their action or apologise if they acted in ignorance.
LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND – When you ask them to explain their action, do well to listen to what they are saying.
TELL THEM WHAT THEY DID WRONG – After listening to their explanation, tell them what they did wrong. Demand an apology if it is still necessary. Don’t transfer your aggression to them or others later on.
USE THE OCCASION OF AN OFFENSE TO EDUCATE – We are all learning to live with one another. So, tell the other person that their actions are hurtful and that they should try to change.
BURN BRIDGES SLOWLY – No matter what a person has done, don’t cut ties with them until you have established that they only desire your death or misfortune. Even then, pray for their conversion.
DO TO OTHERS AS YOU WANT DONE TO YOU – The most important part of forgiveness is that what goes around comes back around. You may be the one who gives it today; tomorrow you may be the one begging for it. So, be kind and God will bless you.
JUDE-MARY OWOH
Prayer:
Heavenly Father, I am sorry for my many sins. I deeply regret them, and I promise by Your grace to be better.
Give me the grace, through the merits of Christ’s death and resurrection, to forgive others unconditionally as you have loved and forgiven me, in Jesus name.
Father teach me, encourage me, and empower me to forgive those who have offended me and wipe the issue from my memory, in Jesus name.
Father fill the body of Christ with your love and endurance in order to live in harmony of purpose, in Jesus name.
Lord, give us God-fearing leaders filled with your love and a heart with compassion for the people they lead, in Jesus name.
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